Hi, my name’s Erin and I’m scared of flying.
In the past, the only flying I’ve ever done was with major airlines while on vacation. The first of these flights occurred when I was less than a year old. My parents were impressed with how well their young baby acted while in flight, and assumed I would be an easy flier. That changed quickly.
As far back as I can remember, being on an airplane has filled me with panic and fear. As someone who is afraid of heights, claustrophobic, gets motion sick, and is just generally anxious all the time, being stuck in a small metal tube in the sky was not the ideal situation. My flight routine consisted of Dramamine, closed eyes and windows, and loud music to distract me from the situation at hand. Any time there was the smallest bit of turbulence, I would cling to whoever was next to me (usually family, but an unfortunate stranger or two have been grabbed) and try not to cry. I have gotten better, with my most recent flight being taken without the immediate support of loved ones flying with me. However, never in my wildest dreams could I imagine saying yes to flying in a small, personal airplane. Yet a few days ago, I was 3,500 feet in the air in what appeared to be a tiny, flying metal box (I’m told it’s actually a Van’s RV-12iS).
So how did I end up conquering one of my biggest fears?
This summer I was lucky enough to be hired on as an intern in the Publications department at EAA’s home office. As a college student who dreams of writing and editing for newspapers or magazines one day, as well as someone with a strong love of history, I figured EAA would be a great place to work. It’s not like I’m going to be writing articles while flying, right? The thing about EAA is that everyone loves flying. Who’d have figured? Therefore, it wasn’t long before I was offered a ride in one of the organization’s many airplanes. My immediate reaction was “OMG ABSOLUTELY NOT!” However, I knew that I was lucky to have this opportunity, so after much internal monologue, I accepted the offer.
It didn’t set in that I was actually going to go flying until the day of. I knew that if I thought too hard about it, I would get panicked. Since my flight wasn’t until the end of the day, I didn’t want to spend the whole day nervous. As the day came to an end, it was time for me to head over to the hangar. I popped a couple of Dramamine pills and prayed I wouldn’t cry and/or throw up.
My wonderful coworker who was taking me up, Christina Basken, talked me through the entire pre-flight procedures and explained everything she was doing. She checked the controls, shaking the wings as she did, and couldn’t help but notice how flimsy the plane appeared.
To my horror, we were flying in the 2018 One Week Wonder, a Van’s RV-12iS that was built in 7 days during AirVenture 2018 by volunteers and attendees. Something built that quickly hardly seemed safe, yet I was about to go up in it!
We climbed in and started taxiing to the runway at Wittman Regional Airport. My first worry was the absence of an “Oh No” handle. I had nothing to hold on to! Seeing how easily the top closed also scared me: Wouldn’t something that closed so easily pop off in the air? As we waited for the engine to warm up, I checked my heartrate on my smart watch — 109 bpm and we weren’t even on the runway yet! Suddenly, Christina said it was time to go and my breath caught in my chest. This tiny airplane was about to take me in the air!
As we shot down the runway and started lifting into the air, I was shocked at how smooth everything was. I knew we were flying but I couldn’t feel anything. I was amazed — and then the first little bump of turbulence shot me back down to reality. While there wasn’t much turbulence the entire trip, every little bump scared me. Christina continued to remind me that this was just normal turbulence, and while I knew that, it was a constant reminder that I was not on the safety of the ground.
I recently learned that my problem with flying versus any other form of transportation is gravity. If I’m in a car, a boat, or just walking, I can simply stop and get out and be absolutely fine. However, if I tried to do this in an airplane, I would be subject the gravity pulling me down hundreds if not thousands of feet. When I’m feeling car sick, I can roll down the window and let in the fresh air. I can’t do that in a plane when I get motion sick.
However, as I was flying above Oshkosh, I tried to push these thoughts out of my head. Despite these fears and my many worries beforehand, I was doing okay in the air! As we circled around Lake Winnebago, Christina pointed out different points of interest, such as local state parks, downtowns, and a nearby airport. Everything seemed so much closer to each other from way up high.
While I wasn’t hating the experience, half an hour was enough for me, so I was relieved as we started nearing Wittman Regional Airport. So far, I hadn’t felt nauseous at all, though I wasn’t sure if that was because it wasn’t actually that bad or if it was the Dramamine I had taken before. As we neared the ground, I wasn’t sure if I was going to close my eyes or not. Landing was usually one of my least favorite parts of flying. However, as soon as I made the decision to keep my eyes open, we suddenly flew back into the air for a go-around. As we circled around to land, the quick movement of the ground and the turning made my stomach turn. I was relieved when Christina opened the hatch and let some air in as soon as we were off the runway.
Despite that small bit of motion sickness, flying with Christina in the One Week Wonder wasn’t at all as terrible as I thought it would be. I had complete faith in my pilot, but that hadn’t stopped my anxiety from coming up with every single issue that might occur.
My over-all consensus is that, while flying in GA isn’t as bad as I thought it would be, I certainly still prefer to keep my feet on the ground. However, I am thrilled to know that, if something were to come up again in which I would fly in a smaller plane, I could do it! Having conquered such a big fear of mine makes me confident that I can conquer other fears too.
Thank you so much to my coworkers and to EAA for giving me the opportunity to fly, and a special thanks to Christina for being an amazing pilot and putting up with me!